a walking shadow, a poor player

a surge of tiredness in the afternoon lent me an unusually long nap after church, and an unusually long dream. I ended up as usual googling when i awoke, about characters my dreams conjure. this time, it was a chinese soldier in the sino japanese war whom i had in the dream called liu jie who committed suicide, and as with most of my other dreams, he existed – i found a “commander liu of the ting-yuen” wherever that is. in my dream, embarrassingly, I was liu jie’s wife who read a suicide note left on the coffee table. perhaps it was in my subconscious memory of it but then again I don’t recall myself reading or watching anything about, or in fact having any inkling of remembrance or like for, history or war. I remember tim telling me the last time it happened something about message from the dead. I don’t quite believe it, but ridiculous it may seem, this time round I am rather convinced that there has got to be something going on in my head or within me.

I shall sleep more to learn more :)


on another note, i thank god that i have moved on from graduand to graduate (and, with an infinitely zero-tailed 1.0000), lending myself the insight: all things are possible!

liu jie? i shall do more research after my o levels ):

i really do want to post again about life so far, but somehow i've lost the hang of doing so, strange! 

while it's hard to post, at least i'll list the things to archive in my head: i tide through a draining month of exams, post-exam, chek jawa and cycling at pulau ubin

quote of monday, during our indulging lunch at changi village:
Meichun: "while we're done with cycling, do you know how many people died cycling at ubin?"

three more papers to go through, if all goes well, 1.00 should be within reach (pray). after so long, i finally got an A1 for chinese O: i've underachieved so much for chinese in the past years, with it repeatedly exploding my MSG, so this time round - the sweetness of victory C:

to describe these few days up in a word: sian, hmm i don't think there's an english equivalent that sums it up so succintly. i need iris to be done on air in korea and quickly uploaded so i can finish it.

travelling to UK in two weeks, lots of things unsettled yet ie winter clothing. equally shakey is subject combo next year! i know for a fact that i'll be taking geog, chem, lit and econs next year, but still undecided as to whether or not hp :/ several push & pull factors

i love MB's just havent met you yet MV.

the weather's really cold

I had a beautiful dream about walking into a vintage pen shop, and am still in a wistful and dreamy state of the finest and most lovely antique pens I have ever seen in my life :) I think someday, I would get myself the stunning P. sonnet. even from television the craftsmanship is stunning, it looks the epitome of grace and perfection.   

hey mr. curiosity is it true what they've been saying about you, are you killing me? you took care of the cat already and for those who think it's heavy, is it the truth or is it only gossip. call it mystery or anything just as long as you'd call me; i sent the message on did you get it when I left it. see this catastrophic event it wasn't meant to mean no harm but to think there's nothing wrong is a problem. i'm looking for love this time sounding hopeful but it's making me cry love is a mystery

come back to me mr. waiting ever patient can't you see that I'm the same the way you left me in a hurry to spell check me and I'm underlined already in envy green and pencil red and I've forgotten what you've said, will you stop working for the dead and return. mr. curious well I need some inspiration it's my birthday and I cannot find no cause for celebration, the scenario is grave but I'll be braver when you save me from this situation laden with hearsay. love is blinding when the timing's never right who am I to beg for difference finding love in just an instant I dont mind, at least I've tried

___
i had the heartiest dinner yesterday night in quite some time, five gorges <3

as requested by phyllis:

i love the wonderful weather women <3

I’m ill: opposite of fever. in class my two temperatures were 34.8 in morning and 33.2 in afternoon. now it’s 34, I think I’m dying.

whoever has my thumbdrive please be kind enough to return it. and i was stupid enough to set up a folder called "Personal". (and sigh it seriously has personal stuff, chatlogs and all)
like phyllis says, it's a classic case of 此地无银三百俩.

see this is why I love my form teachers! Mr k dressed up as coolie with his communist towel and sack of rice, ms b’wd as samsui woman with the dramatic headgear and the shoulder-balance

Ms b’wd: what are samsui women actually?

Mr k: old unmarried spinsters who come to s’pore as labourers-.-

Ms b’wd: well, sounds just like me!

Hahaaaa so self-defeating.

“Even the best fall down some times” there is absolute truth in that statement k haha

yesterday pe was kinda epic: [process tactfully censored], aftermath was: blood + gore, and very ticklish antiseptics (they sent me hysterical). almost M18 the way i lied down and started raving, along with the blood

thanks, LAURA (:

I don’t like it when the water seeps in when I bathe, it’s awful. anyway much better than last term’s injury on both knees. yeah and Phyllis attributed the accident-proneness to my blog name, which makes sense!

sleeeeep!

waking up early tomorrow to go have a morning walk with clara before dawn breaks, sounds darn sick idk (the walk will be slow given my state of immobility) after which we will smp our morning through.

Geog lessons have been more fun:

“Hey gorges, the name’s Cliff, and it’s only you, me & the levee.” – jean ann 


i wish i would be less a hypocrite and restrain my tongue.  

but then again, missing two whole days of lessons for this - should balance out to be pretty much worth it C:

god bless me!

that is exactly how worrying tomorrow and wednesday will be, alicia and me unscripted-emceeing -in mandarin- farewell luncheon, and well, my farewell speech for our shanghainese (not in a particularly friendly language either)

on a completely unrelated note:

#1 i should honestly stop behaving like a wimp and crying on youtube videos; and

#2 it's been 21 days since 23 june (the day i posted my counter) and it's my 1020th hit - i couldn't even witness the turn of its millenium; anyway that averages to about 50 hits a day, to be honest that's rather ego-inflating!

(even though i shan't deny that part of it came from the fact that when you click on the cuts it jumps one more)

regardless, traffic here is not bad, hello passer by!

 quick post just in case I forget what I feel:

- my O: on day one (omg how come it's a male, haha)
- miss b’wd squealing “soooo cute” in a disturbingly paedophelic way 
- marina square and translating subway orders on thursday
- local fare at bugis today 
- lots and lots of paparazzi-ing, felt like a superstar today

to my buddy who won't see this: 
even though both of us have a serious obvious lack of common interest (he’s into gadgets and technology), a communication barrier and uh, clashes pre-ordained by biological difference, i still enjoyed his stay here and hosting him. I won’t be presumptuous to delude myself that he actually had fun with me, (his only form of entertainment was probably laughing at my chinese) but when I think about itnow I could have been a much better host at times, so I’m sorry!

good bye, praying for journey mercy for all of you (:

i am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
in our eyes are mirror images and when
we kiss they're perfectly aligned
and I have to speculate that god himself
did make us into corresponding shapes like
puzzle pieces from the clay
and true, it may seem like a stretch, but
its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
head when you're away when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road for
several weeks of shows and when you scan
the radio, I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay

i tried my best to leave this all on your
machine but the persistent beat it sounded
thin upon listening
and that frankly will not fly. you will hear
the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home

was supposed to spend my afternoon meaningfully shopping for a farewell gift for taiwan buddy but ended up not stepping into any male apparel shop (or walked out within 3 seconds even if I did)- all the stuff I bought were for myself (:

one more afternoon wasted on retail therapy ): which leaves me effectively only tomorrow night to get my farewell present because my youth day will be spent doing smp@fusionopolis

dreamt of ML yesterday, dreamt you dined with me and bought me a birthday gift, it was so sweet, so surreal- i think i will miss you real bad when the time comes.

it's getting really cold!

 

i had to explain that we had floorball for our pe module last term, and i told my taiwan buddy 地球, and realised there had to be something wrong with the term 地球 when he began staring

just one more day. a total of 4.5 hours for past three nights, i feel like i'm waging a war, hahaaa.