but then again, missing two whole days of lessons for this - should balance out to be pretty much worth it C:

god bless me!

that is exactly how worrying tomorrow and wednesday will be, alicia and me unscripted-emceeing -in mandarin- farewell luncheon, and well, my farewell speech for our shanghainese (not in a particularly friendly language either)

on a completely unrelated note:

#1 i should honestly stop behaving like a wimp and crying on youtube videos; and

#2 it's been 21 days since 23 june (the day i posted my counter) and it's my 1020th hit - i couldn't even witness the turn of its millenium; anyway that averages to about 50 hits a day, to be honest that's rather ego-inflating!

(even though i shan't deny that part of it came from the fact that when you click on the cuts it jumps one more)

regardless, traffic here is not bad, hello passer by!

 quick post just in case I forget what I feel:

- my O: on day one (omg how come it's a male, haha)
- miss b’wd squealing “soooo cute” in a disturbingly paedophelic way 
- marina square and translating subway orders on thursday
- local fare at bugis today 
- lots and lots of paparazzi-ing, felt like a superstar today

to my buddy who won't see this: 
even though both of us have a serious obvious lack of common interest (he’s into gadgets and technology), a communication barrier and uh, clashes pre-ordained by biological difference, i still enjoyed his stay here and hosting him. I won’t be presumptuous to delude myself that he actually had fun with me, (his only form of entertainment was probably laughing at my chinese) but when I think about itnow I could have been a much better host at times, so I’m sorry!

good bye, praying for journey mercy for all of you (:

i am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
in our eyes are mirror images and when
we kiss they're perfectly aligned
and I have to speculate that god himself
did make us into corresponding shapes like
puzzle pieces from the clay
and true, it may seem like a stretch, but
its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
head when you're away when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road for
several weeks of shows and when you scan
the radio, I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay

i tried my best to leave this all on your
machine but the persistent beat it sounded
thin upon listening
and that frankly will not fly. you will hear
the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home

was supposed to spend my afternoon meaningfully shopping for a farewell gift for taiwan buddy but ended up not stepping into any male apparel shop (or walked out within 3 seconds even if I did)- all the stuff I bought were for myself (:

one more afternoon wasted on retail therapy ): which leaves me effectively only tomorrow night to get my farewell present because my youth day will be spent doing smp@fusionopolis

dreamt of ML yesterday, dreamt you dined with me and bought me a birthday gift, it was so sweet, so surreal- i think i will miss you real bad when the time comes.

it's getting really cold!

 

i had to explain that we had floorball for our pe module last term, and i told my taiwan buddy 地球, and realised there had to be something wrong with the term 地球 when he began staring

just one more day. a total of 4.5 hours for past three nights, i feel like i'm waging a war, hahaaa.
 

what looks like a joke in the day is really really frightening in the dark: the dinosaur on display outside science centre when you walk towards it before day breaks.

i've forgotten what it's like to sleep. school hasn’t officially started for me (it will tomorrow), if I’m already so lethargic, I don’t mind stretching further till the max, my breaking saturation point. work - it's regardless of choice, anyway.


baby you are an addiction.

I think it’s really scary, the way a series of dreams/nightmares have been hitting facs? I was quite skeptical when a few told me of their fac-related nightmares, then today I got quite spooked out by it a lot alot, when I woke up in the middle of the night crying. I don’t recall much what it was about, I only remember the last part where it was really tear inducing: the scene was about me at the brink of some life and death situation which I don’t remember, then at last I sent an sms to all facs: “If I don’t make it out of here, I love you all” (which is scarily the exact same words of the woman who died in the terrorist attack because I googled the line which got stuck in my head the entire morning).

chilling. when I think about it im beyond spooked, when I woke up the only thing I remember is the exact words of the sms I typed to the thirty nine facs I sent to :/


the only thing is i wished i was hardworking enough to save all your numbers

my undeserving status as of now warrants no form of interruption absolutely. the morning was productively boring- I sped through matrices self-study; my left hand is tired stretching in awkward positions by the mandate of fleming; chem was mind-boggling (almosttypedblogging) but manageable, three cheers for chem’o and I thank god for bio: a subject I don’t take.

science is full of awe. (read: awful)

 

I realise how I often start typing with “today was okay” but today wasn’t okay at all! >: (

getting denied acess by security guardSSSSS (zhixian-style) isn’t fun, especially when the place the guard denies access to is YOUR OWN SCHOOL.

went hwachong, security was just as ridiculous (okay fine too strong a word haha) I am so sorry my presence kinda instigated the guard to evacuate all of you out but oh well she let me in! k then not very productive work done there, didn’t even expect to be dere so didn’t bring stuff to study. idk, i did ten MCQ physics? 

as calculated by nick, I have 15 more hours to go! it means four more (fake) hours on Monday, and yup I’d be free from the clutches of youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. LOVELY!

last day of official attachment tomorrow, yay! but missing the afternoon (AGAIN) for another appt.
 
just had a really really interesting conversation with TY. HAHA YOU AWESOME.  (I shan’t risk my life to reveal your identity, but the initials tell a lot already)

facs, i love you! (k sorry for PDA i'm feeling a little loving today) 

I really, really don’t want it to fade D=
 

what’s the point of cold turkey when I get into it so quickly again! yes per[fac]tion bug is back again! like woonwei said, the warm and fuzzy feeling all over. good job, dileen, you have just undone your successful malaccan cold turkey >:( but it's a good thing hahaaaaaaa. facs are drugs i assure you.

the holidays have been full-scale rest & relaxation (contrary to a lot of people, haha losers!) and productivity is an all time low, with me doing absolutely nothing constructive except for attachment stuff and going out and going out and going out.

I started out with this to-do list and ended up with the same list, quite worrying! okay my sense of urgency has upped a LITTLE, after noting that school starts in five days. I will start work, perhaps soon. (but then again i kindof trust my last minute skills, ha)

(a) Language Arts Portfolio

(b) Language Arts R and R

(c) Lit Essay on BT1

(d) Chinese Book reviews

(e) Math Matrices

(f) Integration 2

(g) Portfolio Reflection Component 3

(h) CLEP Movie Review

when school reopens our OSIM (oh shit it's monday!) and TGIF cyclic syndromes will replay, all over again. and i will hijack starbucks at coro after school, and i will remember my class again and may start forgetting people whom i don't want to forget just yet. 

my life unfolds a little too fast for me! 

let’s just say that I have no idea how to appreciate watching cars fight. otherwise, it was loud, migraine-inducing (true to the review!) and a bit painful to watch, haha. nevertheless it was still very much enjoyable: losing (or pretending to) nickee’s camera and seeing zhixian/damian panic were really entertaining. and daryn, “we are so disappointed in you.”

happy birthday to ryo and nick, two of the most awesome facs i've ever known!

attachment messes my plans all the time sadly, but nevermind I’m on my way to 200hours! laziness during school term taking its toll on my life during the holidays. I’m seriously desperate: jumping at every opportunity to solicit hours, though most of the time the hours clocked are wayyyy more than the time I exist dere. not very ethical, but who needs ethics anyway!

oh and it’s hilarious – the way the both of us complain about the food at fusionopolis being too expensive so we lunch together with instant noodles, then during tea break every single day we sneak to starbucks to have tea while other  colleagues have it tough at the pantry! (ah, yes dear I’m talking about you, if you actually read this!) C:

I want to make this walk successful this time round – so many times I’ve vowed commitment that has failed.  thank god for all that he’s bestowed and blessed C: all I want to do is to focus on Him now in all that I do.

even during times like this with so many issues crashing all upon me and life is like a pile of unwashed bricks, there’s still Him to seek solace and comfort, and I’m thankful for that. the lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

dileen, move on!

every tear you cry is precious in His eyes

lol today was quite awesome save for the fact that the church has some hand foot mouth disease pandemic going on amongst so many people who went for retreat quite amusing but well keep them in prayer!

lunch tomorrow, good luck to myself! (please don’t read this if not i die) :D 

meanwhile i have had a good taste of what CT is like: first two days of suffering followed by numbness then nonchalance about stuff, oh perhaps even beyond nonchalance and maybe whatth-ness, haha! to those who are still into it: TOO BAD! (feel my evil)

darn i'm over it finallllllllly. finally, deedeeededede well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words. (jason mraz you rock hahaha)
:D XD =D C: (: ._. :)  spamming happiness \o/


/edit
k i recall today wasn't that happy i fired two more vehement emails to j_s lol they really get on my nerves sometimes but then again as d'vee i should be more controlled but no too bad i can't hahaha i apologise for my self-control or lack thereof, you guys screwed yourselves over

your grace is sufficient for me

your strength is made perfect when I am weak

all that I cling to

I lay at your feet

your grace is sufficient for me

I really want to remember this C:

at last when I recall why the trip was such an unhappy one for me because it reminded so much of last year and how at the end of it all I promised myself never to fall in love and get any one else into my life again (:

maybe I should stop slamming the trip honestly b’cause it was really okay. only thing is that I forgot to activate auto roaming before that so I was really pissed with myself ):

yes and I remember on the dear causeway today, I was flagging my handphone in the air to catch the singtel signal after looking at the line “emergency calls only” for five whole days. lol, first time on the causeway doing something else apart from looking for pedra branca. and when I finally did, I spammed people I desperately needed to talk to with smses, and thanks people like tim nick kat amongst others for replying it really made my day (:

was supposed to take my mind off some things (and people) during these five days but I ended up thinking of them more than ever :/ but nevermind, I committed stuff to prayer and at least I got answers which makes it very gratifying because you know that he listens.

thursday night was the best because of the mood and songs and everything, a sweet culmination, which made a lot of people cry (k I’m not sure but I think I cried a lot haha). his grace is so awesome, really, and if anyone comes up and tells me it’s the typical churchy weepy thing I will slap you in your face.

translation for the five days was quite bad! there were so many points in time after I went downstage that I felt sooo much like going into hiding and not seeing anyone for the entire night :/ last two days I felt so sick of screwing up I decided to just get it over and done with and sped my whole way through. oh and it feels so sick b’cause after you’re done with your stuff people come up and tell you polite and encouraging things that obviously they don’t mean but have to say out of courtesy, and then you would have to play along and pretend you were all that remarkable. disgusting, if you ask me.

the attempt at productivity backslided, sadly. whenever I tried reading the economist on my amazingly soft bed I end up falling asleep. spent a good thursday afternoon sleeping in hotel while the rest of the family went out. retail therapy was okay, just that like I said I didn’t overspend and this shows a lot. i bought stuff mostly for myself (haha sorry) and gifts here and there.

it was good that my twenty-first floor hotel room overlooks the sea somewhere far away and overlooks old town white coffee which was just one street away- I love its architecture and it does remind me of mugging at this splendid cafe back home. oh and I survived five days with the absence of a certain red spotty and hormonal fruit that I like and I think this has truly snapped me back to normal, haha.

otherwise, it was a good break (from lots of play, ironic) and a fresh start to homework, for now! then maybe over the weekend I will have lunch with the people I want to have lunch with, dude we need to talk!

Ps: quite therapeutic to type so much stuff at a go C: haven't done that in a while!